September 21, 2020
Word of the Week: Release
While packing up our life in NYC, I was surprised how triggered I felt. While I wasn’t terribly sad about leaving the actual city, I felt sad about leaving behind all the pain I had experienced while living there. I know that sounds weird. Who gets sad about leaving behind pain?
I’d been in go-go-go mode, feeling sad about the friends I would miss, anticipating what lies ahead, neglecting to acknowledge all the shit that went down while I was living in NYC. All of a sudden, I had flashbacks to my grandpa dying, breaking up with several close friends, reinventing myself over and over again, wallowing in the depths of a full-on existential identity crisis. I think I cried more tears in that city than the last six years combined. It was not an easy chapter. And yet I have so much appreciation for the growth, the reckoning, the space to figure out who I was and the person I wanted to become during our NYC chapter.
In the midst of packing, I found myself—Marie Kondo-style—chucking things left and right, realizing it was no wonder I struggled so badly with insomnia and nightmares in that apartment full of literal baggage. I hadn’t realized how many old pictures, jewelry, gifts from ex-friends, cards and memories-galore I was still surrounded by.
At first, the chucking felt awful. There was a finality to it as if I was accepting, once and for all, that a friendship was over, that I could never get my old life back, that my grandpa would never stop being dead. But then, after a lot of meditation and emotional processing, I was able to see this letting go period as a gift, remembering that whatever is meant for my life will exist regardless of the material possessions I hold onto.
The more I released, the better I felt. I created rituals around the letting-go process, asked for support from my ancestors, cleansed the space, severed energetic ties and made art out of pain. It’s a liberating feeling to know you have the power to get rid of whatever physical and energetic weight you damn well please.
Ask Yourself: What can I let go of—energetically or physically—to allow myself to feel more free?
Weekly Mantra: I am able to choose what I hold onto and let go of.
When in Doubt, Jam It Out!
Give It To You (From Songland) by Julia Michaels (Follow the Spotify playlist “Jam it Out with Elizabeth” to stay up-to-date with the weekly tunes 🎵)
Things I Think You’ll Love:
Andrew and I are apparently late to the party but recently became OBSESSED with Songland on Hulu. So many posi-vibes that will have you dancing in your seat. As a sucker for any opportunity to see creatives in their element, this show was inspiring on a whole other level!
Before we welcome the first day of fall tomorrow, check out this Talkspace Summer Self-Care Checklist, where I share my fave self-love rituals that are evergreen through the seasons with:
Cheering you on as you release what no longer serves you,