November 25, 2019
Word of the Week: Authenticity
I have always had a heightened level of sensitivity. As a child, I could tell when the milk was going bad days before the rest of my family. Every person had their own scent. And I always seemed to know exactly the right thing to say, even at an early age.
For a long time, though, I felt like my sensitivity was a weakness. I was told to develop a thicker skin. To stop being so dramatic. To not take things so personally. To pull myself together. I internalized these messages and did everything I could to try to fit into society the way I thought I was supposed to: compliant, logical, and unemotional.
It has taken many years and a ton of therapy to learn how to love and accept my sensitivity again (still a WIP). It’s been an exciting yet scary process because the less I stopped trying to make my sensitivity disappear, the more my intuitive channels opened. My spiritual awakening became impossible to ignore. Here’s a taste of what I’m talking about:
I feel other people’s energy.
I can see auras.
I dream of events before they happen.
I get intuitive hints about who I’m going to see or hear from.
I experience intense deja vu.
I download entire creative projects at a time.
I receive messages from people who have passed.
I am called to help people crossover.
I grieve for others and the collective.
I develop somatic symptoms when others are in pain.
I frequently get third eye headaches.
I’ve mostly tried to hide the fact that I have intuitive gifts. I thought it made me weird. I thought I would be rejected by my family and friends. I thought no one would believe me. However, after my grandpa literally called me to tell me he needed my help to crossover, I could no longer pretend these gifts didn’t exist. I didn’t want to anymore. I realized in a more profound way that I am put on this planet for a reason and I don’t want to deny the world (or myself) of my unique contribution. There are people who need my help and I’m not going to let temporary feelings of embarrassment or awkwardness get in the way anymore.
Part of me still feels deeply afraid to come out of the spiritual closet. But most of me feels relieved. Not being able to show up as your true self takes a toll. So even though I’m consumed with fear as I press send on this newsletter and am not quite sure how to fold all this into my business yet, I’m taking one wobbly step after the other, and trusting that this will all make sense one day.
Thank you for being a part of this sacred community. I hope you’ll continue to join me along the ride.
Ask Yourself: How often do you deny parts of yourself to fit into society? What would happen if you were able to show up as your true self? Who would you be then?
Weekly Mantra: I am put on this planet for a reason.