November 2, 2020
Word of the Week: Burnout
In grad school, I wanted to understand why all of us women were constantly so fucking tired and why it felt like we had to work so much harder than men. I spent two years studying burnout. The research was both eye-opening and deeply saddening, confirming everything I had intuitively felt. Women do in fact have to work harder. Harder for their recognition, harder for their money, harder to get a freaking word in. Do men have to read books on negotiation, take classes on how to ask for a raise or pay someone to teach them how to appear more confident? Most likely not.
To begin with, men are already paid more (women still only make $0.8 to men and that’s if you are a white, cis, able-bodied woman). Men are also raised to be competitive and, more importantly, are socially expected to be competitive. Women, on the other hand, are conditioned to be quiet and accommodating. So, while men are playing the game with relative ease, women spend their lives busting their asses, trying to contort themselves into a pretzel trying to find the right balance of, “asking for their worth” and “being liked.” So you wonder why we are falling over with exhaustion?
I’m so excited to feature MV subscriber Oakland, California-based Victoria Jane, who knows a thing or two about overcoming burnout.
How you are currently spending your energy:
Growing my human design practice! After suffering from severe burnout, human design was a life-changing tool that helped me drop the hustle, accept my innate gifts and live with more ease and clarity. I now support growth-oriented women to do the same.
Why do you love Monday Vibes:
It’s my weekly dose of loving realness and reflection.
Your fave self-care ritual:
SLEEP. After being bound to a corporate schedule for a decade, I’m now letting myself wake up naturally without an alarm and feeling zero guilt about getting all the rest my body, mind and soul needs.
What song are you currently jamming out to:
How would your BFF describe you in 3 emojis:
What gift would you like to offer the MV community:
“…just because black stereotypes were programmed into the mass consciousness in a certain way didn’t mean that I had to sign on to that version of black, or that I had to *be* that version of black…I started to realize that what was happening to black people on the planet had nothing to do with me. It was what was happening to this construct called “black people,” and that I could be black, and I could love being black, but that I didn’t have to sign on to that construct, or to the indoctrination that sustains it.” —Shaman Durek
Where people can find you to say hi: