Navigating Unsolicited Comments and Questions from Family During the Holidays
Word of the Week: Boundaries
Life Lesson:
I used to DREAD Christmas dinner. Like, seriously dread. An entire gathering that revolved around food was my version of hell. I hated how many choices I had to make. I hated that my family always commented on what was (or wasn’t) on my plate. I hated that my friends wouldn’t shut up about how much weight they’d gained. Everything about this part of the holiday season made my eating disorder worse.
As women, we are conditioned to hate our bodies. It’s nearly impossible to grow up unscathed from the hoards of messages that tell us we need some sort of fixing. Tanner, thinner, prettier, blonder, taller, shorter, bigger boobs, smaller butt, stronger (but not too strong), no wrinkles, no pimples, no hair anywhere.
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Changing my relationship with food has been a big part of my self-love journey. If you are on the path to creating a healthier relationship with food, here are a few tips for dealing with family or friends who provide unsolicited advice on your food choices so you can walk into Christmas prepared to navigate it:
- Ignore them
- Walk away
- Change the subject
- Eat at different time
- Say: I’d appreciate it if you didn’t comment on my food choices or body size
- Say: I’m not looking for feedback, thanks
Ask Yourself: What boundaries can I set to feel at home in my body?
Weekly Mantra: I am allowed to indulge freely.
When in Doubt, Jam It Out!
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas by Michael Bublé (Follow the Spotify playlist “Jam it Out with Elizabeth” to stay up-to-date with the weekly tunes 🎵)
Things I Think You’ll Love:
Give the gift of demystifying gender with this Post-Structuralist Vulva Coloring Book to your artsy friends, family or to your own inner child.
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Bonus:
Check out my latest podcast episode “Self-Love & Shifts” with Gentler founder Maya Fleming.
Sending love for a cozy holiday season!
XO,
Elizabeth
Described by readers as “a bubbly, confident, wise, kind older sister,” Monday Vibes is a personal growth newsletter that brings a cozy, slumber-party feel to some of life’s hardest challenges. Monday Vibes is a safe and inclusive community to explore the wonderful and messy parts about being human.
