“is there a world free of hungry ghosts, where my body is not picked apart by needy vultures, taking my magic for free until there is nothing left of me. the internet”
—Elizabeth Su

 

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Exciting Book Update: Well friends! One year, 40 queries, 11 full manuscript requests, 2 developmental editors and several breakdowns later, I now, at long last, have an agent! I am SO EXCITED to join the WOMEN-LED Paper Over Board (and IGLA Books) fam, and I am grateful to have found a literary agent who is committed to nurturing my creativity and helping me bring my stories to life.

Thank you to this beautiful community who have been with me at my lowest lows, connecting me with your friends, sending me words of encouragement, giving me permission to quit, offering me the strength and courage to keep putting one foot in front of the other on this grueling publishing journey. I couldn’t have done it without you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Fear of Success: After I signed with my agent, I got a wave of imposter syndrome. I was scared to tell anyone because, what if things fall through? What if I never end up getting a book deal? What if I mess this up or something goes wrong or I embarrass myself in front of the whole world?

I’ve been reflecting a lot about how easy it is for me to be vulnerable when things are hard but how weird and awkward I get when things are going well. It’s a strange combination of not wanting to draw attention to myself (I’m terrified of being thought of as “too much”) and trying to protect my heart from disappointment or pain.

I ended up doing a whole Instagram story to untangle all of my feelings around this. My agent saw the story and messaged me: You deserve good things. And my heart melted like chocolate ice cream.

Repeat after me: I deserve good things.

Uncoupling My Worth From My Productivity: Ya’ll, has the energy been intense these days or what? I find myself moving more slowly lately while the rest of the world seems to be sprinting ahead at record speed. It makes me feel behind, like I’m not doing enough, not moving fast enough, not making enough money, not producing enough, not being creative enough and generally failing as a person.

Here’s a love note I wrote myself to make myself feel better:

Dear Self,
Growth and abundance are not linear. It is okay to move at your own pace. You are not behind. You are not late. You are not irresponsible for taking care of yourself. Being productive all the time is merely an illusion of success.

WARM AND FUZZIES: The Linda Lindas

 

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I work with a lot of teens now through my executive functioning coaching practice and I adore how honest and self-expressive they are. These girls—a half Asian/half Latinx band featuring “two sisters, a cousin and their close friend,” according to their Bandcamp profile—TELL IT LIKE IT IS. Their song, “Racist, Sexist Boy” (you gotta watch this clip) left me snort laughing and a little jealous I don’t have their same confidence. Here’s to creating art out of hate!

OBSESSION OF THE WEEK: Omsom Spice Kit

 

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Andrew and I aren’t the biggest cooks and have slowly regressed to frozen GF pizzas and dinner omelets while on the road, so we jump on any opportunity to make yummy food more easily. Enter: Omsom Spice Kit! Not only is this company run by two badass Asian sisters, but they make cooking delicious Asian food so simple with minimal ingredients. Perfect if you’re tight on time, on-the-go, or just don’t like cooking that much!

MONTHLY HAPPENINGS: FEATURES + EVENTS

• Music (Ed) Matters Podcast: Perfectionism, Personal Growth and Power
• Here’s Something Good Podcast: The Secret to Doing More? Slow Down
• Show She Calls Her Shots Podcast: Nurturing Our Creativity & Embracing Our Journey

Happy first month of summer lovelies!

XO,

Elizabeth