“Not all traumas were caused by mistakes that require a lesson to avoid repeating them…they weren’t events summoned by their unconscious or their karma to teach them something they need to learn…they were attacks.”—Jeff Brown

 

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#REALTALK

Spiritual Gaslighting: I am not normally a fan of authority or institutions, nor do I think you need a degree from a fancy school to be a gifted healer, HOWEVER, it is terrifying that anyone can just put their shingle up tomorrow and call themselves a healer. It’s terrifying that people can charge actual money to spill their own traumas and wounds onto you without repercussions. It’s terrifying that there is no governing body to report someone to if they do something unethical.

It got me thinking: Spiritual leadership is a big responsibility and if you aren’t going to therapy (which should be a prerequisite), and aren’t continually doing your personal work to check your shadows (which should be a requirement), then you put others in a lot of danger. People often ask me why I still go to therapy after eight years. “Aren’t you done?” They ask. “Are you that f*cked up?” They imply. It’s precisely because of this. To lead with integrity, we MUST be committed to examining our own flaws and defenses and projections first. It is a forever process.

Feeling the Feels: Things have felt really heavy the past few weeks. Months. Years? People don’t really know what to do with all of my tears. They either ignore them and say, “Look on the bright side,” or they demand I identify as “clinically depressed” and urge me to get medicine. There’s nothing inherently wrong with either of these things…I’m just saying people want my pain to go away not because it’s best for me, but because it makes them uncomfortable. What happened to witnessing? To being present? To the simple act of holding space? Usually, when people feel sad, they need to let the grief run through their body. How can we do that though if everyone tries to shut it up?

Dear Self,
You are not too late, nothing is urgent. Breathe. That’s just capitalism speaking. Your truth knows there is enough time.

Reading Books for Fun: Part of my inner teen work has been allowing myself to read books for fun again. I used to only read “useful” books, chock-full of advice or memoirs to give me ideas for my own book or classics that you were just supposed to know. But, let’s be real, coming-of-age is my favorite genre. I deprived myself of these kinds of books for so long because they seemed so un-useful.

Repeat after me: Not everything has to be serious to teach you something.

WARM AND FUZZIES

Joy Not Hate – AAPI Stories

 

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A friend sent me this interview series and I loved it so much! It reminded me how important it is for us to hear each other’s stories, and in telling our stories, we help others not feel so alone. Plus, all of these Asian American women are so badass and I AM HERE FOR IT. Go read their stories and support their businesses! 💛

OBSESSION OF THE WEEK

Green Tea Matcha Facial Scrub by Honey Belle

 

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All I can say about this delightful scrub is YUM. It’s my fave exfoliator atm and leaves my skin feeling so soft and smooth. I love the minimal, organic ingredients. If your skin is craving a little TLC or you’re looking for a sweet gift for your bestie, be sure to check it out!

I hope everyone has the most BOO-tiful Halloween and here’s to a fresh start this November,

XO,

Elizabeth