July 20, 2020
Word of the Week: Discernment
Life Lesson:
At the end of last year, I signed up for a year-long mentorship program that really excited me. I was convinced that it would be the thing to take my business to the next level. A few weeks into the program, I started to doubt it. If Iâm being honest with myself, these doubts started creeping in on the very first group call. If Iâm being really honest with myself, even the sales process felt a bit icky.
But, for some reason, I didnât pick up on the red flags until months into the program. Maybe I did pick up on the red flags, but I didnât allow myself to see the red flags for what they were. There was a part of meâmy ego, letâs be realâthat didnât want to see the truth. I wanted so badly for it to work out how I had planned in my head. I didnât want to admit to myself that the program wasnât at all what I thought it would be. I didnât want to admit to myself that I had just sunk a ton of money into something that made me miserable.
How did I decide to address the situation? By setting boundaries, of course! I began watching the replays of the training instead of joining them live to avoid getting triggered. I skipped entire training sessions that didnât resonate. I stopped asking questions. I distanced myself from the teachers who belittled me. I convinced myself that I was learning important lessons.
“They arenât the lessons I want to learn,” Iâd tell my friends. “But Iâm learning a lot, thatâs for sure.”
The biggest lesson I kept telling people I was learning surrounded discernment. I told people I was learning how to discern what material to pay attention, whose advice to listen to, which opinions mattered and that even mentors were imperfect.
“I donât have to agree with everyone,” I kept saying. “I donât need people to understand me.”
After months of this “boundary-setting” and “Universe-testing,” I had a new thought: What if the lesson was complete?
This whole lesson thing is one of the trickiest parts about being a (recovering) overachiever on the spiritual path. We endure suffering in the name of a “spiritual lesson.” Sure, some lessons are painful to learn. But pain itself doesnât need to be the lesson. Discernment on the spiritual path doesnât ask us “how much pain can I tolerate?” but “whatâs causing me pain so I can get the hell out?”
Ask Yourself: How can you protect your energy this week?
Weekly Mantra: I am allowed to say no to what doesnât serve me.
When in Doubt, Jam It Out!
Cut To The Feeling by Carly Rae Jepsen (Be sure to follow the Spotify playlist called “Jam it Out with Elizabeth” to stay up-to-date with the weekly jams đľ)
Things I Think You’ll Love:
Everything JP Sears creates leaves me crying with laughter. How Spiritual People Fight is one of my faves. He nails how ridiculous it is sometimes to be on the spiritual path, how the ego will always find ways to interject and twist things around for its own benefit. This path is too difficult to travel without some humor along the way.
Bonus:
Looking for some ways to cope these days? Take a peek at my latest on Talkspace: “Finding the Positive in the Coronavirus Outbreak,” where I share the scientific benefits of spending more time with your spouse, your adult kids, plus a cute story about what one wise teenager is learning about compassion.
P.S. Iâm excited to share that weâve changed my domain from elizabeth-su.com to elizabethsu.com (Iâve waited four years for this moment)! What does this mean for you? Well, the first couple Monday Vibes emails might look like spam to your email server, so youâll need to whitelist the new domain. I know itâs annoying but itâll be worth the two seconds so you can still receive Monday Vibes!
Here’s what to do (I recommend flagging this email or putting these instructions in a calendar invite for yourself next Monday, July 27). Next week, double-check your spam or promo folder to locate your Monday Vibes email, and then follow these steps:
Cheering you on this week as you flex your discernment muscles!
xo,
Elizabeth
[Featured Image: @petrabraunillustration]
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