Word of the Week: Clarity

Life Lesson:

I recently hired a coach to bring one of my biggest dreams to life. To say that I was excited is an understatement. It’s been over a year since I’ve hired a coach and I couldn’t wait to have the support. As we sat on the floor of a cozy meditation room for our first meeting, I was giddy with anticipation.

“Where would you like to start?” my coach asked.

I had no idea. Starting this project felt so daunting. Everything was new – the industry, the process, the skillset, the network – and I felt completely out of my element. I looked to my coach for guidance. One of the first assignments she gave me was to do a comparative analysis so I could get clear on what other industry leaders were doing and how what I was offering would be different. This did not sit well.

Within a millisecond, here are all the thoughts that ran through my head:

• Why would I waste my time and energy comparing myself to others?
• Of course what I’m offering is different!
• This is terrible for my creative process
• I can’t predict the future
• I shouldn’t have to prove myself
• I hate the patriarchy
• Please don’t make me do it!!!!

 

Instead of saying something or asking for an alternative exercise, I stuffed my feelings down and did the comparative analysis anyways. It was slightly helpful because I discovered a few things like a serious lack of diversity amongst industry leaders. However, on the whole, the exercise was distracting. My imposter syndrome got totally activated and all of my insecurities came flooding in:

• I’ll never be as good as them
• Everything’s been done before
• No one will want to hear what I have to say
• Everyone else has better connections than me
• I wish I was more like __________
• People are going to laugh at me
• You suck, you suck, YOU SUCK!!

 

Things got dark fast.

I fixated on what other people were doing (or not doing). I ran around in circles wondering how to best position myself for my “target market.” I obsessed over specific words and phrases that seemed to convey a similar message to mine. I toss and turned at night brainstorming how I could take X person’s structure + Y person’s authenticity + Z person’s creativity to come up with my own brand. My brain felt like it was going to explode.

This past weekend, I went to the beach for a dear friend’s birthday. There were three of us and we were all feeling overwhelmed by new projects and life decisions. Instead of trying to problem-solve with our minds, my friends and I focused on stillness. We pulled tarot cards, built crystal pyramids, meditated, journaled, set intentions, explored symbols, drummed, yelled, vision-boarded, and cleansed our chakras in the beautiful ocean water.

Amongst the stillness, the most magical thing happened. I started getting flashes and downloads of what I was supposed to do. I saw images, colors, phrases, structure, and people related to this new project and suddenly everything became much more clear. It was like I had washed away all of the outside chatter so I could finally see what my inner wisdom had known all along.

The thing is, being more or less like someone else does not make you you. The whole concept of target market research is a bit old school if you ask me. It’s fueled by a scarcity mentality and the idea that people only succeed if they fill an “industry gap.” I believe that if you have an idea, it’s because you were meant to bring it alive. While you can’t just sit there and expect it to manifest on its own, you also can’t try to control every little detail. You are responsible for showing up and doing the work. The Universe is responsible for figuring out how it all comes together. It’s too much for you to try to do both.

The next time you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, try to have faith in the process. Trust that you are supported by the Universe and everything is working in your favor. Find stillness. Look for magic. And wait for the answers to come to you.

Ask Yourself: How do you tend to deal with feelings of overwhelm? Do you take a break, research more, talk things out, or procrastinate? Are you someone who gets trapped in analysis paralysis or is it easy for you to hear your inner wisdom?

Weekly Mantra: Everything will fall into place the way it’s supposed to

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