How Women Can Break the Burnout Cycle and Reclaim Joy

Hey friend, let’s talk about burnout. Not just the “I had a long day” kind, I mean the soul-level exhaustion that lingers no matter how much rest you get. The kind that leaves you feeling drained, unmotivated, and wondering if something bigger needs to shift.

If you’re a woman, especially a woman of color, you unfortunately probably know this feeling all too well. And here’s the hard truth: many of us were trained to live this way. Conditioned to push through, show up, carry the weight, and keep going, even when we’re running on fumes.

Burnout doesn’t always hit you like a lightning bolt. Sometimes it creeps in slowly. You’re doing all the things: work, family, friends, activism, just trying to survive in a world that often feels heavy, and then one day, you realize you’re completely out of gas. Even the things you used to enjoy feel like a chore. You start questioning everything: your job, your choices, and sometimes yourself.

But here’s the thing: burnout isn’t just exhaustion, it’s information. It’s your body and soul waving a flag, telling you something has to change. We don’t talk enough about how to prevent burnout or what to do when it shows up. However, we should, because burnout can alter your perspective on your work, your identity, and your relationships. And if we let it, it can also show us something important: what’s no longer working and what we need to feel whole again.

For me, burnout was a wake-up call. I felt stuck, unfulfilled, and disconnected in a fast-paced corporate world. It took years (and I’m still unlearning a lot), but through that healing process, I discovered the power of creativity, nature, writing, and, most importantly, rest.

So let this be your reminder: You are not a machine. You’re not meant to hustle endlessly, sit in back-to-back meetings, or hold it all together without pause. You’re human. And being human means needing care, space, slowness, and support. Let’s normalize listening to ourselves. Let’s check in with each other more. Let’s make self-compassion the standard, for others and ourselves. You don’t need to earn your rest. You just need to remember you deserve it. I hope this blog can help you recognize burnout and also some practical and easy ways to help you through it.

Why Burnout Is More Common in Women

The modern workplace (and society in general) was not built with women in mind. We all know this deep down. The systems we operate in, from corporate structures to leadership norms, were primarily shaped around male-dominated environments, and they still reward traits traditionally associated with masculinity: being assertive, competitive, emotionally detached, and unapologetically self-promoting. Meanwhile, women are conditioned to be “nice,” agreeable, accommodating, and supportive, and when we do speak up, take space, or show ambition, we’re often met with resistance or criticism. We’re either “too much” or “not enough.” It’s a lose-lose cycle that no one really prepares us for.

Now, if you’re a woman of color, those pressures multiply. It’s not just about being passed over or having to prove yourself twice as much; it’s the added weight of stereotypes, systemic bias, and cultural expectations. There’s the wage gap, the emotional labor of navigating spaces where you’re underrepresented or misunderstood, and then there’s the model minority myth, which tells some of us we should be “grateful” for the opportunity to be in the room at all. It’s exhausting. And what often happens is we internalize all of it. We start believing that if we just push a little harder, work a little longer, achieve a little more, then we’ll finally earn our place. Then we’ll feel worthy. But that day never really comes, does it?

And here’s the real kicker: burnout isn’t just about working too many hours or juggling too many responsibilities. It’s the result of trying to thrive in a system that was never designed for us to succeed in without sacrificing huge parts of ourselves. We’re told to meditate, make vision boards, drink green juice, or download another productivity app, but those things can’t undo the root of the problem because burnout isn’t a personal failure. It’s not about you not being strong enough or needing to be more efficient. It’s an entirely valid response to living in a patriarchal culture that asks too much and gives too little back. 

It’s a systemic problem, and no amount of “good vibes only” or color-coded planners will fix that. We have to start by acknowledging that we’re working with a broken system that does not operate in our favor. Once we do that, we can explore practical ways to address burnout and acknowledge our limitations.

Activism, Burnout & Self-Worth

When the world feels heavy, whether it’s due to injustice, conflict, or collective grief, it’s easy to feel like you have to do everything at once. Protest. Post. Donate. Educate. Speak up. Stay informed. Take care of your family. Show up for your community. Keep your job. Hold it all together. It’s a lot. And if you’ve ever felt pulled in a dozen directions at once, you’re not alone.

There is a very real pressure to be everywhere, do everything, and get it all “right.” But here’s the thing: we’re human. We have limits. And no matter how much we care, we can’t give our best to the world if we’re running on empty. As artist and speaker Andréa Ranae Johnson so beautifully says: 

“There is no right way. What is right resides within you. And it’s a moment-to-moment check in with yourself.”

That’s a powerful reminder that your activism, your care, your voice, doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. It doesn’t have to be constant. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be real. And it has to be sustainable.

So if you’re tired, rest. If you’re unsure, pause. If you need space, take it. That doesn’t mean you’re giving up, it means you’re listening to yourself. It means you’re honoring your capacity and choosing to show up in ways that are honest and lasting, not just loud and immediate.

Because this work, the real work of change, healing, and justice, isn’t a sprint. It’s a lifelong practice. And we need you whole, not burnt out. So show up how you can. And let that be enough.

Self-Care Is Not Selfish — It’s Strategy

Especially for women of color, self-care isn’t just an indulgence; it’s a form of political resistance. It’s a way of reclaiming space in a world that often demands our labor, our strength, our silence, and our resilience without pause. When society constantly tells you to push through, be strong, stay quiet, and keep giving, choosing to care for yourself becomes an act of defiance. Virginia-based Talkspace therapist Cynthia Catchings said:

“Workaholism is the one form of addiction that is worn as a medal rather than a ribbon that says, ‘dysfunction.’” That quote hit me like a truck.

Growing up, I didn’t learn that “good enough” was an option. I learned to equate my worth with achievement. The result? A never-ending grind. And the scary part is, society rewards it. But underneath the praise and promotions is a deep, unhealed need for validation.

Here’s the truth: You can’t hustle your way to self-worth.

Every time you choose rest over hustle, or joy over productivity, you’re challenging a system that tries to reduce your worth to how much you can endure or produce.

So what does radical self-care look like?

• Saying no without guilt
  
• Don’t be afraid to disappoint others or express yourself even if you risk hurting someone’s feelings.
  
• Resting — even when you “haven’t earned it”
  
• Creating art to process pain
  
• Reminding yourself: I am enough, just as I am

How to Cope with Burnout

Burnout doesn’t always show up as a dramatic collapse. Sometimes, it’s just the slow, steady draining of your energy, motivation, and sense of self. And while you may not be able to eliminate all sources of stress from your life, you can learn to shift how you respond to them. That’s where healing starts: not with fixing everything at once, but with noticing what needs attention and taking one small, compassionate step toward change.

You don’t need to solve your burnout in a day, but if you keep ignoring it, it will only grow louder. One helpful way to begin is by examining how stress manifests in various areas of your life and addressing it from multiple angles. Experts typically break down burnout recovery into three core approaches: action-oriented, emotion-oriented, and acceptance-oriented coping. Each one offers its tools for rebuilding your energy and regaining a sense of control.

1. Action-Oriented Coping

• Set boundaries with your time and energy: Say no to extra obligations, limit how much you take on, and permit yourself to log off when the workday ends.
  
• Cut out distractions when working: Minimize multitasking and unnecessary input (like notifications or background noise) to reduce mental clutter.
  
• Say no without explanation: You don’t owe anyone a justification for protecting your peace. A simple “no” is a full sentence.
  
• Manage your schedule instead of letting it manage you: Block out time for rest, breaks, or hobbies, not just tasks and meetings. Prioritize what matters, not just what’s urgent.
  
• Delegate when possible: You don’t have to do it all yourself. Share the load, ask for help, and trust that others can step up too.
  

2. Emotion-Oriented Coping

• Practice positive affirmations: Simple statements like “I am allowed to rest,” or “I don’t need to earn my worth” can rewire how you speak to yourself over time.
  
• Use cognitive restructuring: Notice negative or distorted thoughts (like “I’m failing” or “I’m not good enough”) and gently challenge them. Ask: Is this thought true? Is it helpful?
  
• Reframe setbacks as learning opportunities: Instead of seeing mistakes as proof you’re falling behind, view them as part of growth. Burnout often stems from perfectionism; self-compassion helps loosen its grip.
  
• Name your emotions: Sometimes, just putting words to how you feel (exhausted, unseen, overwhelmed) can create space between you and the burnout.
  
• Validate your own experience: You don’t need someone else to confirm it’s “bad enough” to deserve rest. Trust your limits.
  

3. Acceptance-Oriented Coping

• Some things aren’t yours to fix, and that’s okay: Not every burden needs to be yours. Identify what isn’t yours to carry, and let it go. Writing it down can help you identify the responsibilities and stress that you can release.
  
• Learn to let go of perfection: Progress matters more than perfection. Give yourself grace when things aren’t neat or ideal.
  
• Develop resilience, not to endure injustice, but to thrive despite it: Resilience doesn’t mean tolerating unfair systems or mistreatment; it means preserving your wholeness and sanity despite them.
  
• Focus on your circle of influence: When the world feels overwhelming, bring your attention back to what you can impact: your boundaries, your rest, your next decision.
  
• Practice radical acceptance: This doesn’t mean giving up; it means acknowledging reality as it is, so you can move forward from a place of clarity rather than resistance.

Remember: You Don’t Have to Earn Your Worth

It’s okay to take a break. Truly. You don’t have to prove anything to deserve rest. You don’t have to wait until you’re completely burned out to give yourself a moment to breathe. In a culture that glorifies hustle and productivity, choosing to slow down can feel uncomfortable, even guilty. But it’s not weakness. It’s wisdom.

Resting doesn’t make you lazy. Needing space doesn’t make you selfish. Feeling tired doesn’t make you broken. You’re not failing, you’re feeling. And that’s human.

You are not your productivity. You are not your job title or your ability to multitask. Your output, inbox, or accomplishments do not define you. You are not your work. Your worth was never meant to be measured by how much you get done in a day.

You deserve care. You deserve to feel joy, to protect your peace, to prioritize your needs, not after everything else is finished, but now. Because your needs matter too. Because you matter too.

If you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, or stretched too thin, please hear this:

You are not lazy for being tired.
You are not selfish for needing space.
You are not weak for asking for help.
You are not broken. You are burned out.

And burnout is not your identity, it’s a signal. A signal that something isn’t sustainable. A quiet (or not-so-quiet) invitation to check in, slow down, and reconnect with yourself.

Whether your path includes activism, parenting, caregiving, art, healing, working, or simply trying to get through the day, you don’t have to earn your worth. You already are worthy. Worthy of rest. Of gentleness. Of love that asks nothing in return.

So instead of pushing through, ask yourself: What’s the most meaningful thing I can do right now to support myself?

That answer, whatever it may be, is enough. Let it be your starting point. Let it be your anchor. And let it remind you that caring for yourself isn’t a detour from who you’re meant to be; it is the way back.